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the girl next door  aishani. keisha. nat. “When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.” — Mae West. underline italic bold |
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scream out loud |
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you're on your way
yann
shan
swong
carol
:D
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gone with the wind September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 November 2010 |
succinct
Thursday, April 29, 2010
"The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge."
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.Sylvia Plath
in my life
Saturday, April 24, 2010
because it's nights like these...that makes me want to play the triangle.
and get a book about moving on.
Friday, April 23, 2010
whats the point of everyone knowing you, when you dont even know yourself.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
If you can't take it, GIVE it.
Smile
tho'
your heart is aching,
Smile
Even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by,
If you
Smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through- For you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile- What's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.
A letter to destiny
And they walked with an umbrella over their heads, without a single word. But their footsteps splashing in the water, and the sound of endless rain spoke for itself.
I bet we'd never have expected ten years ago,
to find ourselves where we are now right here,
But yellow wood and crimson ribbons are of the past,
and here's the reason I'm sorry for you dear.
I'm sorry we never got a chance to actualise what I already knew existed.
I'm sorry I couldn't take that step with bold shoulders like you'd ask me to.
I'm sorry we strayed from our path and memories turned grey.
I'm sorry for nothing else except the fact that I loved you.
And I'm sorry for the laughter that echoes deep down inside.
I'm sorry for those hollow holes we've created in each other.
I'm sorry that one day you'd wake up and find,
that I'm no longer here because I never existed.
Because maybe, just maybe, it's you who's taking that great leap to the place I will never be.
Repeat. all over again.
The wrinkled fingers were worn thin. Not due to time, but the deepest emotion any heart would ever know of.~
I always thought there was a reason why a child is small enough to fit into a mother's lap perfectly. Why they need to be able to sit and listen to the voice that says everything will be alright.
And she pulled that frail piece of cloth closer as it tugged at her pale skin, because she knew even the toughest material can fall apart at the seams. She bit down on her lower lip, swearing she would not cry, but it never worked. They told her the ones who dont cry are the brave ones, but her tears were evidence enough of the fact that tears have never been a defining factor, and never will be. She shivered in the cold, and wondered why people could hate the hot and detest the cold all at once.
Because when memories leave you feeling so alone, all that's left are the purple bruises that accompany those solitary moments.
And that's when she needed to hear that voice, telling her everything would be alright.
And so she smiled. But the smile never reached her eyes.
~
be happy
random muse
Thursday, April 15, 2010
haha i love the confusing shroud of annonymity:)
who's posting what!
You tried so hard to be the person everyone wanted you to be. Maybe you should've just been the person you wanted to be.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I can’t feel that. It’s sweet and everything, but it’s like you’re not even there sometimes. It’s great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when someone doesn’t need a shoulder. What if they need the arms or something like that? You can’t just sit there and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can’t. You have to do things.
the killers
Monday, April 12, 2010
since feeling is first... (VII) by E. E. Cummingssince feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world
my blood approves,and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry-
the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says
we are for each other; then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph
And death i think is no parenthesis
500 days of summer
Saturday, April 10, 2010
This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie 'The Graduate'. The girl, Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan, did not share this belief. Since the disintegration of her parent's marriage she'd only love two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing. Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.
friday i'm in love
Thursday, April 8, 2010
For we do not proclaim ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your slaves for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said “Let light shine out of darkness,” is the one who shined in our hearts to give us the light of the glorious knowledge of God in the face of Christ.An Eternal Weight of Glory
But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that the extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us. We are experiencing trouble on every side, but are not crushed; we are perplexed, but not driven to despair; we are persecuted, but not abandoned; we are knocked down, but not destroyed, always carrying around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our body. For we who are alive are constantly being handed over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our mortal body. As a result, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. But since we have the same spirit of faith as that shown in what has been written, “I believed; therefore I spoke,” we also believe, therefore we also speak. We do so because we know that the one who raised up Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus and will bring us with you into his presence. For all these things are for your sake, so that the grace that is including more and more people may cause thanksgiving to increase to the glory of God. Therefore we do not despair, but even if our physical body is wearing away, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary, light suffering is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison because we are not looking at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.
THIS is our 101st post!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
you can have a virtual cupcake to commemorate this occasion:)cheerios!
notes on a scandal
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
because every now and then, i sit down to read my letters to you, the ones i never sent.it's been two years and i still smile and think about it. two years, and i'm not the person you knew last time. less vanity, less arrogance.
it's not real, you see. i meant what i said.
“We are perishing for want of wonder, not for want of wonders.”
the irony of life
"We dance round in a ring and suppose,But the Secret sits in the middle and knows."
second chance?
Friday, April 2, 2010
One day, God asks you to run a race, but you haven't been training. At the racing ground, you see God standing there in his white robe and you look around but see no competitors. And all of a sudden, you see the devil walk in. He's buff and ripped and in your head you're like, "Oh damn, I should have trained." He gives you an evil grin, has fire coming out from his nostrils and winks at you, knowing that he'll win this race. And in your heart, you think he's gonna win too so your heart races. At the starting line, God stands at the side, raising the pistol in his hand as he shouts, "Take your mark!" Your heart feels like its in your throat and "BANG!" God pulls the trigger and the devil drops dead. You turn and realise that the devil was shot and your look up at God and he says,"I have already won the race for you, all you need to do is run."
Discover Jesus Week
Thursday, April 1, 2010
As funny as it may sound, i have spent my entire school life in a christian environment of sorts, from Presbyterian to Methodist and i am very likely to continue that trend. Yet, you would know me as the narcissist, the self absorbed cynic , the extreme pessimist, and the person accused of emo-fying this blog. So something must be wrong right?Yet, again, whenever Im being posed with the question of religion. I cant say for sure, what i believe in. I cant with absolute certainty tell you if im a free thinker, aetheist, want-to-be chrisitian or something different altogether. And i guess this is where the real conflict lies..
We all have moments of doubt dont we, of depression and sadness where we wonder why this must happen. Moments where trust no longer presents itself as possible and faith seems too distant. Over the span of these 2 years, i have been told of 3 deaths. The first of which happened to someone so dear to me, that words cannot express how horrible i felt for seeing her have to go through that period of time. The feeling of helplesness that transcended to everyone who knew her was so painful, of her emotional turmoil i would have so much wanted to share with her. That was an utterly cruel moment.
The second death that i came to know about was of a boy that was an old family friend who had a premature passing. Being a genious and someone who wanted to change the world, fate struck his dream apart where he came to know that he had a rare disease. within the short span of a month or so, he departed. What possible reason is there to take away someone at such a tender age.
The third death was very recent, and it left me speechless once again. I know that she would just want to be alone, to curl up in a ball and cry her heart out, only to do the very same thing the next morning, but we all want to be some sort of support where at least she doesn't have to bottle up her feelings. Thats also when the idea of death really became very real to me.
Then my feelings become mixed again, whenever there is chapel.
Somewhere between the lines of
"Heal my heart and make it clean,
open up my eyes to the things unseen,
show me how to love like you, have loved me"
and
"Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me"
It ignites a fire that compels me to belive, that there is someone great out there that ensures everything will be alright and its all in his purpose for us. I have a special song, that sings to me and has a way of magically reappearing every time im at my lowest. Its called Still and friends would tell you that i burst out crying almost everytime i hear it. It challenges all the thoughts that i had in the earlier part of this post, because it always promises of something better and good.
So to wrap up my slew of confusing and contradicting thoughts, maybe the answer was always in front of us. Maybe we never really saw what it what meant, and maybe its time to recognize and believe.